


Eight Reasons I Hate Harry Potter

by jeni_andtheafterthought



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, New Year's Eve, Pansy is the best, Past Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Post-Break Up, Reconciliation, fashionista Pansy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 03:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15282195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeni_andtheafterthought/pseuds/jeni_andtheafterthought
Summary: Draco and Harry recently went through a breakup and Draco copes my making a list of all reasons he hates Harry.





	Eight Reasons I Hate Harry Potter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [XxTheDarkLordxX](https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxTheDarkLordxX/gifts).



> Summary was written by Sam (thanks, I stole it from your rec list!!!), who also provided the prompt from which this fic was created.

It shouldn’t have surprised Draco that Pansy found a way to break into his flat.  Her abrupt entrance did startle him, but not enough to move him from his place on the sofa.  

“It looks like a fucking crypt in here.  Have you died?” Pansy asked, dropping her things on side table.  She pushed Draco’s feet from the sofa so she had a place to sit.

“Piss off,” Draco mumbled, “I told you I would need some space.”

“Yes, you did, but you’re being an insufferable drama queen.  No one has seen you in weeks.  You skipped my Yule party last week and I’m still furious.”

“You didn’t invite me,” Draco said.

“I never invite anyone!  You know that!  But you’ve always been there.”

“Sorry.”

“Really Draco?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Bloody anything! This isn’t you, you’re laying here in the dark.  No one saw you on Yule.  I’m not letting you spend New Year’s as a blanket burrito on your sofa. Fuck this, I’m turning on some lights,” Pansy lit the lamp on the table beside her.

Draco flinched away from the light, shielding his eyes.

“Merlin, you look like shit,” Pansy said.  

Draco couldn’t argue or even be offended.  He hadn’t even showered in a couple days.  

“I’ve come off weekend-long firewhisky binges and still didn’t have bags under my eyes like you’ve got now. The Draco Malfoy from the first week of December would be mortified to see the Draco Malfoy from right now wasting away like this. You do realize you broke up with him, right?” Pansy said.

Draco bit his lip to keep it from trembling.  Keeping the tears from his eyes was a more difficult battle.  

“Whatever.  I really didn’t come here for you.  I’m being entirely selfish,” Pansy started.

“Which surprises no one,” Draco interrupted.

“Damn right it doesn’t. I’m here to demand you attend my party tonight.  I’ve made bets with, shall we say, certain friends.  You could make me quite a bit of money if you show up.”

“What do you, of all people, need with more money?”

“Who are you, of all people, to ask a stupid question like that?”

“Fine,” Draco said, “How would I help you win your bet.”

“I bet them I could get you to come,” Pansy said. “No one believes me.”

“So everyone just wants to gawk at me and mumble things like ‘poor thing’ and ‘wow, he fucked up’? No thanks, I’ll just stay home.”

“Why would anyone think you’re the ‘poor thing’? You’re the one being an arse. And now a hermit.”

“You really do suck at this,” Draco said, settling back into the sofa cushions.

“I was upfront about my intentions and motivations.”

Draco didn’t answer.  

Pansy looked around the flat, making no effort to keep the judgement off her face.  She stood, gathered a number of empty dishes from the coffee table and sent them to the sink with the flick of her wand.  A few cleaning spells later, she stopped to look at the jumble of papers the teacups and empty plates had previously hidden.  She picked up the one that was the least crumpled.

“The hell is this?” she asked.

“Paper.”

“Wise ass”

She smoothed the paper out a bit more and turned on the overhead light.  Ignoring a groan from Draco, she sat back down with her new found treasure.

She read, “Eight reasons I hate Harry Potter.”

Draco sat up and reached for the paper.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Pansy said.  She twisted quickly, digging her feet into Draco’s chest. “You interrupt me even once, and you’re getting PT’d.  And don’t even think of threatening me, I know your wand’s in the kitchen.”

“Fine.  You want to read it, go ahead.  None of that is a secret,” Draco said, doing his best to cross his arms with Pansy’s feet in the way.

“ _Number one.  He asked me to marry him_ ,” Pansy read. “Darling, you’re supposed to hate your partner AFTER years of loveless marriage and disappointing sex. Was the sex already that bad?”

“No,” Draco said through gritted teeth.

“Explain,” Pansy said.

Draco’s eyes widened.

“Not the sex, good lord, I mean why this is number one.”

“I didn’t want to be some achievement on his road to being normal.  How would I not notice that he asked me to marry him less than five minutes after Weasley asked Hermione to marry him?  I refuse to feel like he only asked me because all his best friends were being paired off and he didn’t want to be left out,” Draco said. 

“You are so stupid.  You should have at least kept the ring,” Pansy said.

“I didn’t bother to look at it.”

“You said no before you looked at the ring!? Who the hell turns down a Greta ring!?”

“Greta?”

“You know, the blacksmith everyone says has goblin blood? She only makes custom orders and her current wait list is almost eight months just for the consultation.  Even then, she isn’t guaranteed to take the commission. You could have been so spoiled.  Poor Granger didn’t get a ring. Well, not her own.  I think she ended up with an heirloom from her muggles.  But he didn’t have it when he asked.  If she was disappointed, she did a good job of hiding it.”

_He had been planning it for at least a year?_ Draco chest felt tight as he forced himself to take a deep breath. When he didn’t speak, Pansy looked back to the list.

“ _Number Two: He refuses to look presentable even when it’s important,_ ” she read. “Aww, poor baby, were you forced to endure his poor judgement for wearing white socks with black trousers and black shoes?”

“You saw him! We were celebrating my completion of the training program at St. Mungo’s.  We went to one of the nicest restaurants in Wizarding London and he couldn’t be bothered to fix his hair or put on a decent set of dress robes and-”

“He was wearing a SAINT LAURENT SUIT YOU IGNORANT PUREBLOOD!”

Draco was gobsmacked.

“He bought the suit in my shop! That is one of the most expensive muggle lines I carry.  Yes it was muggle, but the suit alone was three-thousand muggle.  That’s- that’s more than 600 galleons.  Plus the shoes, the tie, the damned pocket square.  I squeezed every last galleon I could out of him.  He was better dressed than you that night!  I even made, I mean, convinced him to get the solid gold cuff links and tie pin, I’ll admit, that was the easy part, but you- Draco.  I’m insulted.”

“It can’t be helped that I don’t share your enthusiasm for Muggle fashion.”

“It’s not enthusiasm. It’s expertise, and as for his hair…you weren’t complaining when you couldn’t keep your hands off it.  It was rather off-putting.”

“ _Number three: Kissed me in front of Mother,_ ” Pansy continued.  “Okay, I’ll give you that one. He probably picked up that casual and indecent displays of affection from his friends.  I bet Ron kisses Hermione in front of his parents.”

“I mean, it was embarrassing.  I know Mother knows we kiss, but-”

Pansy cut him off, “I’m still angry about the blatant disregard for the way I dressed him for your celebration dinner, you don’t get to speak until you apologize. _Number four: I hate Potter for forcing his friends on me._? Hurry up and apologize because you have to explain to me how this works.”

“I’m sorry I expected a wizard to wear wizard’s robes to a restaurant in wizarding London. What do you mean explain?”

“I mean why is it so bad to spend a little bit of time with his friends?  It’s a small price to pay isn’t it?  He is very good at pretending he isn’t miserable when he comes to brunch with us even when Blaise flirts with you right in front of him or when Millicent kept showing him pictures of her cats.  When was the last time one of his friends talked about his arse while making direct contact with you? Hm?  You do realize you don’t have to be their friend.  You just have to, well, had to, love Harry enough to let him have his favorite people all in one place for a little while.  That’s what he did for you.  He hated me for ages, but after a while, it didn’t matter.  We both wanted to be around you and that meant sometimes being around each other.”

Draco pulled away from Pansy, finally pushing her feet off him.  He pulled his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knee.  “You’re making it difficult to stay angry.”

“If you want to stay angry, try harder.  I’m literally reading you a list of all the reasons you hate your ex-boyfriend.  It’s not my fault your list sucks.”

Draco was now fighting tears.  Unwilling to admit they were from anything but frustration, he let Pansy continue.

“ _Number Five: He shuts me out._ I don’t understand,” Pansy said, with noticeably less venom to her words.

“He won’t let me in.  I know things still get to him, even after years.  He still has nightmares.  He never talks about it.  Harry will still have days where he looks so far away and he won’t talk to me.  I’m right there and he shuts me out.”

“But you’re there.”

“I’m always there.  I never kick him out of bed when his insomnia keeps him awake and he won’t sit still.  I don’t leave when he is in a bad mood for reasons he won’t discuss.  I don’t get angry when he won’t stop making noise,” Draco said.

“Making noise?” Pansy asked softly.

“He gets anxious sometimes.  He taps his fingers, bounces his knee, tics that make noise that drive me mad, but I don’t say anything because I know he can’t help it.  He never talks to me about it though.  Even when he gets really bad and doesn’t notice he’s rapping his knuckles on the table; I’ll take his hand, hold his hand, to make him stop instead of telling him he’s getting on my nerves.  When Harry would look at me, I could tell there was so much still bothering him that he never talked about,” Draco said.

“But you’re there,” she said again.

“Yeah.”

“You are not hearing me.  You are there for him.  That is what he needed from you.  Not everyone is able to talk about things.  The things he went through, what you went through.  There aren’t words enough to say what keeps you two up at night.  Some day, that may change.  But Draco, you don’t talk about anything either.  Being with Harry was enough for you.  You have said that to me on more than one occasion.  You had no words for the hurt, the anger, the shame and regret.  You never opened up, but you said that having someone who knew and understood, having him made each day bearable.  Maybe that was what you were to him, too.”

“Not anymore though,” Draco said, his words catching in his throat.

“Which brings me to the next one, I suppose. _Number Six: He didn’t try to stop me._ ”  

Draco hugged his legs tighter.  Turning to face Pansy, he said, “He just let me go.  I said I didn’t want to be his safety net.  I didn’t want to be the stand in while he tried to create his own version of what all his friends have.  If he wanted me, he had to want _me_. He has always been so self-sacrificing; I would hate myself and eventually him if he was only with me because he thought that was what was expected of him.”

Pansy brushed her fingers down Draco’s cheek, “Sweetie, this is going to sound terrible, but no one wants you two together.”

Draco gave a short laughed, “It’s only funny because I know what you mean.”

“Good,” Pansy said, smiling. “I want you two together.  I know his friends were rooting for you.  Your mother loves him for some reason.  Probably for how happy you were with him.  If he wanted to live up to the proverbial ‘everyone’s’ expectations, he would have stayed with Ginny.  Sure they could have been happy and loved each other.  But they would have gone their entire lives knowing or maybe just wondering if maybe there wasn’t something a bit _more_ , you know?”

“That still doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t fight for me.  He has not come to see me, sent me an owl, a text, anything.  I can’t go to him.  What would I say? ‘I know I threw our future away because I was scared you would eventually get tired of me and it would kill me when that day came, but I’m back now so let’s pretend nothing ever happened.’ I do not see that being a reasonable start to conversation.” Draco said.

“I do.  Did you not hear yourself?”

“As much as I love the sound of my own voice, I don’t remember word for word what I say when I’m mid-tirade.”

“You said you wouldn’t marry him because you were scared. _Number Seven_ ,” Pansy said as she continued to read the list, “ _He let me ruin everything_.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“This is the same as number six, nothing but more trademark drama queen,” Pansy said.

“Anything.  He could have said anything and I would have stayed.  Harry said nothing and just let me leave.  At this point, how do you fix something like this.  Maybe right then, or even the next day.  It has been almost a month and Harry does not want me back.”

“How many times have you called him? Sent him a text or an owl?”

“None, but-”

“How do you know he doesn’t want you back,” Pansy asked. “You are a complete mess and you have not once tried to contact him either.  How do you know you didn’t break his heart?  How do you know he’s not hiding on his sofa practically growing mushrooms, too?”

“Why would he? He asked me to marry him and I threw his ring on the ground, and said I refused to be an accessory simply so he wouldn’t be the only one of his golden trio that wasn’t living the picture perfect domestic bliss.  I would hate me for the rest of my life if I had done that.”

Pansy looked up at Draco with tears in her eyes, her hand pressed over her mouth.

“What?”

She shook her head, moved her hand enough to speak, “You threw a Greta ring on the ground.”

“It was still in the box.”

“Small mercies, I suppose.” Pansy brushed the tears from her eyes, avoiding her makeup, and read the last item on the list, “ _Number Eight: I hate how much I miss him.  I hate that he deserves someone who can love him half to death and make him so very happy.  I hate that I am not the one doing that right now._ ”

Draco got up off the sofa and made his way toward the kitchen, “It is just a stupid list.”

Pansy watched as he poured water into a glass straight from the tap and drank it down.  “Yes, Draco.  Most of these things were pretty stupid.” She looked at the clock, “You know, there are still a couple hours before midnight.  You can still make it to my New Year’s Day Countdown.  I’m sure we can find you someone to kiss at midnight.”

Draco looked back at Pansy. “You could have just said that Harry was there.”

“Yes.  Harry is currently at my house, at my party, while I’m here begging you to stop being an idiot.  Like I said, there are a couple hours before midnight so for the love of all that is magic, wash up first.  You smell almost as bad as you look.”

Draco said nothing even as Pansy left.  There was no way he was going to stroll into Parkinson Manor just before midnight expecting a kiss and Harry’s open arms.  There, also, was no way he could stay home.  Before he could let himself become overwhelmed, Draco decided to start with something he could definitely handle.  He would start with a shower.

* * *

It was almost ten minutes past midnight, and Draco had not yet entered the ballroom.  The new year was already ticking by, the champagne bottles were all open, confetti and glitter covered the floor, and all the kisses were over. Draco took a steadying breath and entered the ballroom. Almost immediately, Harry stood in front of him.  Draco couldn’t look him in the face.

“Happy New Year, Draco.”

“Happy New Year, Harry.”

A short silence was followed by a rush of words, “I had no idea Ron was proposing to Hermione that day.”

“Pansy helped me figure that one out,” Draco said.

Harry broke another long pause. “I know you said you didn’t want to see me again.  I really needed you to know that though. I know how much it upset you,” he said, and he turned to leave.

Draco panicked and grabbed Harry’s hand.  Draco’s words caught in his throat before he was able to force them out, “Tell me this is over, that we are over.  I’ve ruined everything.”

Harry shook his head and turned to face Draco, “It’s only over if you say it is. I meant what I said.  I will be yours forever if you will let me.”

Draco was still unable to look at Harry.  He nodded and said, “Yeah, but that was before. I can’t make the past four weeks not exist.”

Harry took Draco’s chin in his hands and force Draco to look him in the eyes. “Draco Malfoy, I will be yours forever if you will let me.”

Draco felt a mix of disbelief and relief, “Anything. Anything you want.”

Harry smiled and the everything was right again.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t the one you kissed at midnight.  I was too busy being a coward outside the ballroom door,” Draco said.

“I resent that implication,” Harry said. “I haven’t kissed anyone all year.” Then he leaned forward slowly, as if silently asking permission when Draco’s lips met his.

The kiss, however brief, was soft and sweet and left Draco’s heart pounding. He smiled and said, “Now you have.”

“Now I have. Can you stay with me tonight? Can we go soon?” Harry asked.

Draco answered, “I meant what I said, too. ‘Anything you want’ Harry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Greta the blacksmith is inspired by Katie O'Neil's "The Tea Dragon Society".
> 
> Like Draco, this fic showed up right after midnight on New Year's Day, originally posted on Tumblr. The fact that I didn't finish before midnight actually changed the ending of this fic, but here we have the finished product.
> 
> *** PT'd: the slang verb for being hit with a Petrificus Totalus.


End file.
